Episode 125: Always Remember What Drives And WHY You Do What You Do With Vickie Hoffman
Vickie Hoffman, Superintendent of Triad Schools, joins us in this episode to talk about her upbringing in a small rural town and the impact of bullying in school. Being the first daughter of teenage parents, she overcame adversity and poverty and completed her college education. Now, she is achieving her dream of helping other children to avoid experiencing what she went through in school.
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Always Remember What Drives And WHY You Do What You Do With Vickie Hoffman
I interview Vickie Hoffman. She's the Superintendent of Triad Local Schools. Before becoming a superintendent, she spent the first 24 years of her career at North Union Local School District, where she was a first-grade teacher, assistant principal, and Chief Academic Officer. She earned her Bachelor's degree from Wright State and her Master's degree through Ashland University.
She is very passionate about her work with children and feels blessed to get to do it each day. She's continuously interacting with them, advocating for them, and improving their academic performance through innovative educational best practices. She is a very proud mom of two beautiful daughters, Tiffany and Mackenzie.
During this interview, we talk about Vickie's journey from her upbringing in a small rural town and the impact of being bullied. Being the first daughter of teenagers, she overcame adversity and poverty to not only be college educated but achieve her dream to help other children never experience what she did in school.
This story is very inspirational, and if there's anything holding you back from achieving your dreams after reading Vickie's story, you will realize that anything can be achieved when you put your mind to it when you put hard work into it, and your why drives you. I look forward to you reading this interview with Vickie, and please share it with others as well that might be helped by some of the stories and lessons that you learned from this interview.
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I am here with Vickie Hoffman. She's the Superintendent of Triad Local Schools. Vickie, you want to give a little background on yourself, and then we will get into your story.
Amy, it's nice to meet you, finally, even if not in person. As you said, I am Vickie Hoffman. I am the Superintendent of Triad Local Schools. It's a small rural district with about 900 kids and 150 staff. Before coming to Triad, I had spent all 25 years of my career in 1 district, and that was North Union. I spent at North Union local schools, and there I was a first-grade teacher.
There were two different times that I looped, so I did 1st and 2nd, and then from there, I moved to administration. I became the assistant principal, and then the elementary principal. After that, I went out to Chief Academic Officer in the district office for a couple of years, and then I came to Triad. I spent 25 years of my career in 1 district, and it was the district I graduated from.
I have been there a lot of years before coming to Triad. I was only interested in a small rural school because that's my kind of people. It matches who I am personally and my values and beliefs. There were only a few that I would've even tried for and the first one I tried for, I got. I feel very blessed to be here and a part of this great community and all the students and staff.
I'd love to get into that. Why don't you start by letting us know where you grew up, and what did your parents do, that sort of thing?
I was born in Galion, Ohio. My parents were very young, so they had me at 14 and 16. Not typically what you would pick to be what people do, but they did and have had a great life as parents with myself. I have two siblings. I have two sisters. I was the oldest. What many people don't know is that my parents being so young, my grandma took my mom to have an abortion. My dad came in and said, "I will do anything. Please don't do this." They left together and here I am. I'm thankful for that. I'm a pretty life-making decision that I clearly didn't make, but my parents did.
How did they share that story with you or when did they share it?
I was probably middle school age. My parents got married at 14 and 16. It was aboard in their wedding photos and had a picture where they were voting if they would make it or not. We didn't get married that then and that young, and then their parents had to both sign off because they were both so young, especially my mom. It wasn't something that was allowed, so they had to sign off on allowing them to get married at such a young age.
My dad owned several grocery stores, so he worked hard when I was young. My mom had not graduated from high school, so she ended up getting a Cosmetology degree. When I was young, she stayed at home with my sisters and I. By 19, my mom had 3 kids. She stayed home with all of us and took care of us while my dad worked 2 or 3 jobs.
I'm trying to picture being fourteen years old and a mom. What was her story? Why was she ready to do this at her age?
I don't know that she was ready. I don't know that anyone would have written this as the story, but my mom is a pretty strong-willed person and willing to do anything, whatever it takes. Both mom and dad were young.
How did she meet your dad?
My uncle had introduced them, so we're babies. No one knew that it would end up what it was.
Did she ever talk about the story of even telling her mom about being pregnant?
No. We have had lots of stories about all three of us girls and them being pregnant. I remember my mom says my grandma cried on the third one because she was like, "You are so young, and you have two healthy babies and something's going to happen on number three." Everyone, my grandma and grandpa were both very accepting and there was no other choice. They had to move forward. My dad clearly loved my mom and was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that, at that point, they had a healthy child that was raised with a life that they felt I deserved, and then here comes the other one.
What did your grandma do? Was she a stay-at-home mom?
No. She worked in the factory. I don't even remember the name of it anymore, but she's still alive. She worked in the factory and my grandpa also worked and all of them did. When I said small rural school because that's me. I remember being made fun of. I remember not having clothes. My mom sewed our clothes. I remember having a book to read was a surprise.
I will never forget, always Christmas Eve, we read, The Night before Christmas. Although my sisters and I all came out great and all very driven, that was what my parents' morals portrayed. It wasn't because of the finances. Our whole elementary life when we were young was tough. Having food on the table wasn't something that was always easy. When dad was working three jobs, we didn't have a dad that was there playing with us in the yard and things like that because he was working all the time and they both were parenting. It was something that we were going to have to do at that age.
What were kids making fun of you about?
Everything. I clearly didn't dress like my peers. I always say to my middle school girls when I talk to them like, "I get it. I was there." They are like, "There's no way you couldn't have been." I was like, "I was there." I remember this one story when I was in elementary school. I was standing and wanted to fit in so bad, and we were a couple of girls that said, "You take your shoes off and walk her through the snow and come back. We will be your friend," and I did.
I took my shoes off and walked through the snow. Anything that's trying to fit in, and we all know what happened. I didn't fit in. They made fun of me. They all laughed as I walked back, and I remember being like, "I'm never going to fit in." I know I will never forget what it feels like to be these young girls and all they are going through.
I didn't have social media back then, thank goodness. I know that feeling and having the family that I had, they were super loving and strong. As a Superintendent, I don't care who you are. I don't care if your kid's going to Harvard or being a welder in the workforce. I will never treat one person differently because I watched that. When I was a teacher, I took all the down syndrome kids I could because I wanted that kid to be loved, not someone that felt like it was a burden.
In my career, I have always tried to be very equal with everyone. It's not about your background or who are the prominent people in the community. I hear that a lot like, "They are all prominent." I will be happy to talk to anyone, not just someone that makes more money or lives in a nicer house. That's because of where I came from and those life lessons I learned at that early age.
How did you stay confident? Did you come home and tell your mom or did you keep that a secret of what was happening at school?
I'm sure I told her. I don't remember a lot of my childhood, but my mom's always been one of my best friends. My sisters and I, have always been close. My mom is almost like a sister. If you see a picture, you are like, "Is she your sister? She's blonde like you.” We were all very close and talked about everything. I can remember our mom talking to me when we'd lay in bed and talk about, "You have to know who you are and don't worry about what people say, and sticks and stones will break your bones."
All those words of encouragement. I'm pretty stubborn. Maybe people would agree with that. I remember my senior year talking to the guidance counselor about the college I was going to have one scholarship I was the only one going and she said, "You are not college material. I don't feel like you could." I wouldn't say that many people would say they could have seen me be a superintendent.
It makes me very proud and I know I have worked hard for it, but I also believe there is a lot of blessing in the life that I have had. I wouldn't undo it. It is the life that I was given, and I see a lot worse every day. When we have a tough situation, I will say to a staff member like, "What if you had been brought up in that home? Would you be who you are now? Would you look at this the same?" It's easy to judge people on what your values and those things are. We have to keep in mind education.
Everyone's coming from a different place and parents are sending us the best they have got. No parent is sitting home going, "I'm going to mess this up. I cannot wait to do this." No one's doing that. We have to give parents and kids grace and remember that education is about teaching them not just how to read and write, but it's about teaching them life lessons that we want them to learn now versus waiting until they get out there in the world and make bigger mistakes.
How did other moms treat your mom?
I don't remember. She never complained about it. We weren't super social. We didn't have enough. I remember the thing I played with most was our car. My sisters and I pretended it was a boat. The rearview mirrors are breaking off all the time because it was like our toy. I remember often going to the grocery store and our car breaking down, but we have a lot of people that we did things with. My mom was from Iberia, which is right by Galion, and she was in school. My family on both sides were in Galion. I don't know that I ever have seen my mom treated poorly. My mom's sweet person. It was a circumstance that they got into and would be very different now.
Were your grandparents helping and raising you?
We had a house, so we found a place to rent. I wouldn't say it's something that I would want to live in now. My dad immediately was working in several grocery stores. He was delivering fast food, doing anything he could. We always had a house. I don't remember ever not. We didn't live with my grandparents. He found a way to find something, to give up a roof over our heads and take care of us.
What was any of your dad's advice as you went through this? How did he influence your outlook?
My dad is such a hard worker. My dad ended up buying three grocery stores later in life. When I got to eighth grade, we moved to Richwood, so that's when I went to North Union. Things turned around a lot when we changed schools. Galion was a lot bigger and more poverty. Our lifestyle changed a little bit when my dad bought a grocery store, and we then moved there.
I was an eighth grader and tried out for cheerleading and my life went down. I was involved in every club I could be in. My life switched dramatically at that point and my sisters a little bit too. We had more friends. We did more things because we financially could do all of those things. My dad, all of that showed persistence and working hard. My sisters and I have all learned that work ethic from both my mom and dad because she ended up being a cosmetologist license.
My dad worked hard and we valued that. I remember going on vacation and my dad was so different. When he got away from all of that and could be with the family, are some of my favorite memories. One, playing putt putter or racing jet skis, and then he did it over and over again as long as he got the fastest jet ski. I saw a difference in him. You talk about having your work-life harmony. When we would go on vacation, it was the one time that we got to see the dad that we all knew was there all the time, but he was so busy working to make our lives good and give us what he could.
We didn't always get him around as often as a lot of people. I remember being envious of people that were like, "My dad's this and my dad's this." We didn't have that, but we also knew what he was doing. When I got to high school, I cheered in high school and in college, and my dad was there for everything, and he kept books. When we moved, things changed a little bit. He didn't have to have three jobs. I can remember being young and when my mom got her cosmetology license to have to leave early in the morning and say, "Get your hair ready." My school picture is not very good because I would get on a quick bus, like, "Take me there."
Did he finish high school?
My dad did. Yes.
Did he finish high school while he was working three jobs? He must have had two kids by then.
Yes. It's a lot. My mom did a great job of taking care of us. There are always jokes about one time she left, and he didn't know what to do with me because I needed a diaper changed. He took my diaper off and put me in a towel, and sat me in the corner to wait for her to get home. He didn't know how to or what to do because they had different roles. He was doing things to bring money home to support us, and she was definitely the one in the home trying to show us clothes and find things for us to do.
You had this hobby of cheerleading, which is a very positive, optimistic type of hobby to have. How do you think you kept your optimism and positive light through all of that, especially coming from all of that bullying? Even switching schools, you still would maybe have that self-perception of yourself and might put that on other people. How did you not think those kids were going to make fun of you coming from your whole life of that?
I'm probably pretty good at hiding the inside. I always think no one would want to tear open my brain and see the negative self-talk things inside and things that I don't know that ever leave who you are. I have had some pretty toxic relationships in my life because maybe not knowing my worth. I don't know that sitting here, I deserve that much, but that probably comes from that history and the things that I have been through in my life, that you do remember those things, and you fight for more. Sometimes when the crowd cheers or if you are thinking inside like, "They don't know." Inside, you still have this feeling of you are not good enough or maybe you don't deserve it. I think it all the time, "How am I a Superintendent? This is crazy," but I love it, and I'm very passionate about it.
What do you do to push down negative self-talk?
With kids, when I'm anything negative, I'm having a bad day, I always say, "Remember my why," and that's kids. I always tell my office staff here like, "When things get rough, go to something that brings you joy and that definitely is kids." It's what I'm very passionate about. I remember being in school and even the teachers treated me differently. When we would round-robin read, they would get to me and I knew that I wouldn't have to read, and then they would skip over me.
The school wasn't easy for me because of that education, they didn't even know how to value education when I was young. It wasn't easy for me, but I remember even being treated differently in school. I will never be that person. I don't care who the kid is and what they've done or been through. I find a lot of joy in that. That's part of the small rural school.
I know every kid. I know all of them. They know me. At the elementary school, they call me picture lady, but in middle school, they know I'm the Superintendent. What I do is I go do something that keeps me positive. If you can eat lunch with a bunch of five-year-olds, and feel bad about yourself, you forget all about those things.
I have a few questions about this. You are getting through high school. How did you think college was going to be accessible for you? I'm sure your parents didn't have money to pay for it, and then you have the school counselor saying, "You are not going to make it or this isn't for you." How did you go about that process?
I knew I wanted to be a teacher. It's all I ever wanted.
Why was that?
I remember playing school all the time, and maybe I didn't feel like a difference was being made all the time on me, so I wanted to make that difference. My mom would be like, "Girls play in school with your sister, so she will stop." I loved school, and so I knew my two things coming out of high school were I wanted to be a teacher or an artist because I loved art. I remember sitting down with my mom and dad and I didn't have great grades.
As I said that school was super hard for me. I would spend weeks studying for hours and I would be happy to get a C, and the people that I was around would never study and get an A. The same was true in college. I knew what I wanted was to do one of those things. I remember sitting down with my parents and saying, "I'm willing to go into the military if it can get me a free education." My dad's saying, "We will figure it out." By this time, he did have three successful grocery stores.
They said, "You go to the path you want to go, whether that's art, school, or education, and we will figure it out." I did. I went to Heidelberg, so I followed a friend there that loved it, and it was small. I absolutely loved it. If people didn't come to class, the professor called you sitting right there in front of everybody like, "Get here." My sister decided it would've been my junior year, she graduated and wanted to go to college in business.
When she decided to go, they were like, "We can't send you to private anymore. We are going to have to go to state." We both went to Wright State, which was way different from the small school that I had been used to and a lot more overwhelming, but by transferring, I lost two years. We didn't know I was a first-generation college kid. No one in my family had ever been to college on either side.
People then didn't go and most didn't go to college. My parents didn't know. I didn't know. When we are meeting with Wright State, they are like, "Don't worry about it. We will let you know that," about 6 or 8 months in. When we get the word, only one class is transferred. You think about it back then, a private school for two years was all a lot of student loans. I'm still paying for it. I went to Wright State and then graduated from there.
You lost all that time. It saved you money and kept you where you were.
I did, but even then I didn't know how to learn. I say it all the time, it's hard to teach a kid to learn. You have to figure it out yourself. When I took my Master's degree and my Superintendent License classes, I had 4.0s the whole time. In my undergrad and high school, I didn't know. I'm not a memorizer. I don't learn that way. You try to watch like, "People all memorize things."
They are flashcards and if you don't memorize things that way, it doesn't work. I'm definitely a hands-on learner. I'm that kid that doesn't want to sit and listen to a lecture, "Let me do it. Let me get involved in it." That's why when I look at good solid instruction, I look at classrooms and things that are bringing kids into it. They don't even know they're learning. They are active and doing, being a part of it.
Bullying In School: In classrooms, kids don’t even know that they’re learning. They’re just active and doing things.
That's a lot to get through with college. You were probably in longer because of the switch. What was the process as far as getting your first teaching job?
I can remember being in college and them saying, "You are never going to be able to work in your hometown. Don't expect it." I graduated in the summer. I had 1 or 2 classes to take that last summer. I found out about a teacher at North Union in my hometown that was on taking a leave of absence. I went in. I worked at my mom and dad's grocery store, and they called me, "Come on over." I said, "I'm not dressed up." "It's fine."
I went and talked to him, and he's like, "It's going to be probably short-term. It's something to get you through. I had never subbed. He said, "Let's do it." I got the job and then on April Fools' Day, the superintendent came to me and said, "The person had resigned from her position. Would you like the full-time position?" I was, "Yeah." I have never substituted a day in my life.
I was lucky. I got into my hometown school and remember my second year. After that year, there were a lot of toxic cuts, and I was the last person on the line. I remember being worried and my dad saying, "You are passionate about this. What's supposed to happen will happen, and pray about it. It will all be good." It worked. Luckily, I got to be there the whole time.
Your parents' relationship, they get a lot of time to enjoy being in a relationship together, or has that happened later in life? It sounds like when you were younger it was pretty operational.
When I was in high school, things shifted a lot. My mom loves to golf, and she learned to play golf because she could join the boys and be a part of it. She ended up being a Marion Country Club champion for nine years in a row because she'd always played with dad and his friends. They went on lots of vacations and Cardinal Foods is whom they owned their grocery store through, and they took them on. They had trips and stuff all the time for them.
They had a lot of great friends that they traveled with and did things with. That was a little bit later in life when those things happened. We always had a very loving home. I rode over, was my cousins and my dad's brother, and then my grandma. All of us were always very close. Even now, I have 2 daughters, and then my 1 sister has 3 daughters, and 1 sister has 1 son. We still regularly do things. We have Christmas traditions that we have done every year for over twenty years. Family's super important to all of us. Being brought up the way we did it, even though my dad was working, we always felt loved, even if he wasn't there.
What do you think you were able to take into parenthood? I'm sure your parenthood was a lot different from what you grew up with, but how do you think that affected you and being a mom, and what things from watching others affected you as well?
My mom always says, "I'm sure you guys have lists of things that you would do differently." I always said if I could give my girl the amount of love that I had, I would be happy with that. Valuing education was something that was important to me. Reading to my girls all the time, making sure that we spent the time on homework and that I understood how to help them. Clearly, education is something I value. That was one of the things I would say changed. I became a mom. I've always tried to stress the importance of not judging a book by its cover and trying to understand people instead of putting them in a hole based on their lifestyle and their situations.
Bullying In School: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Understand people instead of putting them in a box based on their lifestyle and situation.
That's such an inspirational story. Listening about your parents because at that time, the fact that she didn't get an abortion and being fourteen, that's amazing. To keep having kids, even adults with careers, it's hard to manage that.
It's very rare. The story is surprising. One, I haven't told it except for my middle school girls. To know a little bit more, and you look at someone and say, "They have got everything figured out. Everything's great." I talk to them about like, "Would you think that I have insecurities?" They are like, "No." When I tell them the story, I hope to give them hope. I wouldn't trade what I have been through and where I am now for anything.
Was it easy? No. There were times that weren't easy, and my parents would say the same thing, but they always say the thing they are most proud of is us three girls. I would say that about my girls. I'm so proud of the young ladies that I have raised. One is going into education and the other one does my hair, both worlds, but they are loving people that work hard. When I came to Triad, they were like, "Why are you working so hard?" That's who I am. That's what I saw in my parents you give 110%, and you never slow down. Whenever my mom gets on me like, "You need to take a day off." Like, "Really, mom? As long we get a whack or what?"
Your work is not the main focus. It's the purpose that drives the work where it doesn't feel like work. You are so driven on a mission, which it sounds like from your own experiences, you don't want other children to experience things that you experienced in school. Your occupation is something more than a paycheck.
In nowaday's world, I live in a district with a lot of mental health stuff going on, and I always say, "The best thing we can do is give them hope. Someday, whatever they are dealing with will end. They will get to move on to their own lives and make decisions for themselves." People always say, "Every time you come, you are always so happy." I feel like I can deal with stuff in my own head.
When I walk into a building, why would I be stressed in front of kids? They need to see hope. They need to see that things will get better and that it's hard to break out of poverty. Those things are not easy, but to try to let them see hope in us, that's something I always express to my administrative team like, "They need to see hope in us." Instead of focusing on the negative, there's 99% of the thing. They are going great. Don't let yourself get wrapped up in that 1% or 3% or whatever it is.
Our energy is contagious. As you said, we all have our own work we need to do personally each day, but part of that is making sure we show up in the way that we want to affect others. It seems like you are a great example of that.
I always say work is my hobby, my passion, and my job. If I have time free, would I choose to work on something for my job or watch TV? I would choose to do something for my job. It is fun. Is something like COVID fun? No. No one wants to go through something like COVID in a world where you are trying to feed kids and educate them. No one wants that. Ultimately, I would say 99% of my days at work I love. I can't wait to have to work. Not everyone can say that.
I'd like to end each interview with some rapid-fire questions. You get to pick a category and that is family and friends, money, spiritual, or health?
Family and friends. Probably won't surprise you.
Most people pick that one. Things or actions I don't have that I want with my family and friends.
More time, as we talked about going one time every summer, taking a vacation where all of us go. This summer we are going to the beach, and we rented a vacation house for 30. All of my siblings and their kids and my parents were going to a vacation house and spending a full week together. I would like to do more of those things, even though we do a lot. Those memories would be great.
Things or actions I do have that I want to keep.
Time. My love language is time. I appreciate time with people. I feel like everyone's so busy that when they give you time, it means something. Support, we are all super supportive of each other, and we love the love that we have for each other and continue making memories, and then also in good health as my grandma always gets up there in her mid-90s. You hated that. I haven't had many losses in my adult life with family. The health I think is awesome.
With your mom being so young, your grandmother's almost a mother's age. Things or actions I don't have that I don't want.
I'm not a competitive person when it comes to things that can hurt people. I remember when my sisters and I all had kids. We're not competing. "Our one kid is not better than your kid at a ball, volleyball, or whatever it is." I don't want that competitive and jealous nature in my family. I feel like that's super toxic on people, and we have already been through enough, so why not love and support each other versus competing or having jealousy against each other?
Last question. Things or actions that I do have that I don't.
This one was hard. I would say we all live within half an hour of each other, and so we always used to joke and say we were going to create this lane. I live in this one place with the full boy, and all this stuff. Maybe the distance, but I'm happy with what we are doing.
Is there anything that you want to make sure readers take away from this interview that maybe you haven't said or you want to emphasize before we end our talk?
Remember what drives you and your why. I always tell staff that I make decisions like this. 1) What's best for kids? 2) What's best for adults? That's sometimes hard because it's breaking that apart. At the end of the day, I can lay my head on my pillow knowing that I made even tough decisions to do what was best for my number one, my why, my kids that I did all I could.
In my role, everyone's never going to be happy with any decision I make. When I make any decision, some people love it and some people hate it. I have to rely on my why. If I break it down and think about kids, "Is this a good decision for kids?" That is my why and what drives me is kids. Being able to do that in your life, whatever career you are in or whatever you are doing in the life of what drives you is important to you and making sure the decisions are made for that.
Thank you so much for being on and sharing your story. It's so inspirational, and I look forward to meeting you soon.
Thank you so much, and I will see you next time. Have a great day.
Thank you.
Bye.
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For my Mindful Moments with this interview that I had with Vickie, that was so inspirational. Anyone reading the story of growing up with parents that are 14 and 16, you step back and try to even wrap your head around how that all works. Even thinking about her parents and the decisions that they made to make this work at such a young age and to have the wherewithal and the know-how to do it.
I have always had this belief that we all have a different soul that we are born with, and it's not necessarily something that is always shaped. We might have different experiences that affect who we are, but we have this soul that somehow knows what we are going to do in life and that some souls are older souls, and be able to handle things that are much more mature than they are. That's what reminded me of this story when I was listening to a 14 and 16-year-old handling all that they were handling and having 3 children by the time her mom was 19.
That's so amazing that they were able to do this. Beginning with the story that her grandma had taken her mother to get an abortion and her father stopped the abortion, shows that they were very intentional about what they wanted to accomplish, and to be able to not only do this but have the wherewithal through life's journeys to create a loving family, as Vickie put it.
Her being the oldest one, watching her dad be such a hard worker and her mom also making sure that they had the home life that she could be able to offer them with all the adversity that they had, being such a young family and not having much money, which led to her being made fun of and bullied at school. A lot of people can take these experiences.
Allow them to color their entire life. She's a bright light. To me, that's always amazing when someone goes through hard things, that they are able to find the positive, to find where they can help change and impact, rather than getting mucked down in all the negative that they experienced. Instead, she's taking that negative to make good out of it and help others help children so that they don't experience what she experienced.
She talked about some of the experiences she had being bullied, but she had a strong mind which helped her to be confident even when a school counselor told her that she wasn't college material. This is so important. I have had a number of interviews where people have said certain things to people over time, and they maybe think they are being helpful from their perspective, but don't realize the power of their words and how you have to overcome them.
If you don't have that strong constitution, you listen to it, and you give up on your dreams. I know I have gotten advice that for some reason I knew to go against, thank goodness because it would have gotten the way of the path that I'm on, but there's something in you, your gut and intuition that's telling you that's not right. Sometimes we don't listen to our gut and our intuition. We fight against it because we hear those messages and this is what this show is all about.
We hear someone say we are not college material, and we believe it. That becomes our belief system. Instead of stepping back and saying, "Does that align with whom I believe I am? Whom do I know that I am?" Having the strength, the fight against those messages is hard having the strength to be aware of those messages and whether that becomes your truth or not is important.
That being her passion, she kept pushing past that, and it colored more of her, which she talked about so much. You don't judge people on how they look on their cover or their backgrounds. You have to give people grace, and most people don't intend to do bad and do the wrong thing. They are working with what they are working with. How can you help others to bring them along the journey so that you can have those little moments of impact that you are leaving little gifts along the way that maybe someone doesn't remember that you were the one that maybe started that journey or not?
Bullying In School: Give people grace. Most people don’t intend to do bad or wrong; they’re just working with what they have.
When you are living your passion, it doesn't matter. It's nice to hear, but you can see it in the light in someone's eyes that gets turned on or you can see the energy changing in someone, whether it's a child or an adult. When you can think about what are the things that you can do to impact the people around you, even in the smallest ways.
The way she's talking about, going to lunch with five-year-olds and listening to them, listening to their stories, letting them talk, and being present for them. The second step of this is you can go do the motion and the action but are you being present? Are you showing that you care? Do they believe that they matter?
That's all important. We can complain and say, "We went to lunch with those five-year-olds. I don't know why they thought I was a mean superintendent," or if you are present, instead, what's happening is that you are saying, "I'm paying attention to you. I'm looking into your eyes. I'm answering your questions." Now they know that I'm a superintendent that cares. It's the same thing in business, whether it be your customers, your coworkers, or the people that work for you that you are paying attention and that you care.
All of these things were so inspirational talking to her. Seeing the things that have affected her going forward and making sure that she's aware when she's having negative thoughts, those thoughts don't need to be shared with other people. People don't need to know that you are thinking that of yourself, that you are pushing past it, and that you have a belief in yourself still that you were doing the right thing. When you are ever making a decision, this is when nailing down your why, your passion, and your purpose is so important because it allows you to have this guiding light.
When you are making decisions in your career or about people around you, is, "Does it align with my why?" She talked about that because if it doesn't, then it's not helping, and it doesn't go against the mission of what you are doing in life. Her why was to give people hope that they will eventually move on from where they are and that we want to reduce the stress that they have so that they are not focusing on the negative, and they are able to see a brighter future beyond their current situation.
Any initiative that she does, she knows that if it aligns with that, she's doing the right thing. If it doesn't align with that, maybe some people will disagree. Those are things that she wouldn't focus on. All of us have that opportunity. I have been talking about my new book that's coming out in April 2023, and it's all about this.
It's all about stepping back, understanding what our belief systems are, how they affect everything in our lives, and being aware of whether they are our beliefs or somebody else. What we do with that, how we shape that, and what are the tools and the research behind the fact that it's never too late to change our journey, and we always have the opportunity to be better for ourselves. To wake up proud of the things that we are doing, no matter how small or large they are.
I'm excited to share this with you soon about this book, and we will have a virtual book club. I will be taping episodes around different chapters of the book so that you can go deeper into it once you begin reading it. I look forward to sharing that with you. Make sure to share this show with a friend or a family member that you think will help read these stories that we read here. We are so thankful and grateful for all of you that read, share your stories, and tell us that these stories matter. We look forward to meeting with you the next time.
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About Vickie Hoffman
Vickie Hoffman has been the superintendent of Triad Local Schools since 2018. Before becoming a superintendent she spent the first 24 years of her career at North Union Local School District where she was a 1st grade teacher, assistant principal, principal and chief academic officer. Ms. Hoffman earned her bachelor's degree from Wright State and her Masters degree through Ashland University. Ms Hoffman is very passionate about her work with children and feels blessed to get to do it each day. She is continuously interacting with them, advocating for them, and improving their academic performance through innovative educational best practices. Ms. Hoffman is the very proud mom of two beautiful daughters, Tiffany (23) and Mackenzie (21).